Acne. It sure as hell isn't fatal, but it does/can ruin your life.
I'm pretty sure if I wasn't blessed with acne prone skin (-_-) I'd call it a 'first world problem' and like many others say "It's not even that bad. At least you don't have cancer." Which for the most part of that statement, is true. But as someone who is energetic, gets waaay to excited over things and loves meeting and talking to people, having this one thing that makes you feel so UGLY that you practically dehumanise yourself is just unexplainably painful. Growing up none of my friends had more than the occasional pimple, and whilst I had a large frienship group, went to parties and dated a few people, my acne kept me from doing a lot of the things that could have been the best days/nights of my life. Though looking back, with the knowledge I have now, it's all good.
Since the age of 12 my skin has never been perfect: I ate a lot of junk, didn't really exercise, and when I DID eat 'healthy'...well, I had a different idea of what healthy was. Hint: lots of cheese and 'lean protein'. Thanks National Food Guidelines!!
I'm going to make a seperate post tomorrow on my best tips for managing really severe acne, but this is just my story over the past 7 or so years of how my skin changed and how I am fixing it. But just so you know, I do still get breakouts. I'm still in the healing process, but my skin is nowhere near as bad as it was, and on that note: sometimes it's difficult to recognise progress in the present moment. You just see what you're stuck with in the now, and it can be pretty depressing seeing a pimple and thinking "Dammit this high carb thing is not working, is it?" and I did that a LOT! But this post is also helping me recognise that that is not true, looking over these old photos when I first went high carb I can't imagine if my skin was still like that! 100% clear skin or not, I'm elated to be where I'm at now, and I hope this can help you or someone you know who is struggling with acne. It does take time, but lost time is easily forgotten when you're this happy in the present moment :D
So, starting from da beginning...
As I have said in other posts, I grew up eating a typical Western diet with heaps of animal products such as meat, dairy, eggs, fish and honey. When you're a child, eating treats, not exercising, not sleeping enough and other not-so-fab lifestyle choices don't really affect you as much as when you get older... so like any Aussie kid I indulged in all of those things. And it was fun! It was 'normal'. Diet wasn't something I ever conciously thought about, and for a child I'd say that's a good thing.
I had Lily-white skin (haahaaa) that would tan up if I went back up to Queensland to see family and of course, was blessed with a short-lived pre-pubescent face that never sprouted so much as a pimple.
In 2009, I began to wear my first few pimples. They'd be singular, just one lonely glowing thing. Unlike lonely quiet people, these lonely volcanic pimples would stand out more than anything. I would have been about 11 here, and this would have freaked me out because I knew I was going to High School soon and I didn't want to look 'ugly' on my first day, thinking people will not be friends with me because of a pimple... I wish I could go back and tell my 11 year old self some things :/
{2009: I ate heaps of junk back then like cheesecake, bacon, pancakes, chocolate, chips, hot dogs, milkshakes... and I thought I was invincible. Little did I know it was all waiting to come back and attack me}
2010. I was 12 here, where some little tiny problems began that still linger today. I started developing tiny sports around my inner cheeks near my nose, on my nose and between my eyebrows. Tiny tiny spots that aren't particularly 'acne' like but annoyed me like crazy because they looked like a rash. I was still eating animal products here, and other than the small patches my face was clear.
{If only I saw not only the cruelty involved in my favourite treats, but the damage it was brewing inside my body}
--I can't believe I'm posting these photos on the internet--
MY WORST ACNE BREAKOUT TO DATE.
IN 2012, when I was 14, I had my biggest and worst series of acne breakouts that were so severe and so painful I considered accutane or some form of acne medication that would ultimately free me from this disease. Little did I know that acne itself is not a disease but more of a symptom of something that is not going on right in your body whether it be digestion, detox or nutrient absorbtion. I was a vegetarian in 2012 for 'health reasons', knowing that plant foods are the key to health but couldn't wean myself off of dairy. I was also over-compensating on the dairy believing I NEEDED to comsume more dairy and eggs in order to meet my protein and calcium needs. I think my weight peaked around this time and my skin was the worst it has ever been in my life.
I didn't wear makeup around this age, and I'm pretty sure I'd be depressed even if I did. So I began to research, and I tried so many crazy things.
I tried potato face masks, avocado face masks, apple cider vinegar, bicarb soda, salt water washes, clearasil creams, tomato juice masks...
I tried no sugar diets, high fish diets (for omega 3) throughout being vegetarian, drinking heaps of water, eating nothing but salad leaves for dinner, protein powder, eating heaps of nuts, superfoods.
I thought everything I was doing was going to help and it felt like nothing changed my skin!!
{2013: surprise surprise, after my Nutrition and Health elective teacher loaned me her book, Skinny Bitch, I went vegan overnight. I had no idea how to be a vegan, but some of my first meals were green smoothies, tofu curries, veggie risottos, roast veggie salads, oatmeal with berries, and amazing vegan dips mum got excited about making me. }
{Awkward braces photo of '10 ;) but check this skin out! Going vegan and cutting out animal products cleared my skin up in a matter of 2 months. It was a miracle. Not only did the pimples clear, but my skin was GLOWING for the first time since I was ten years old! }
{Some of the first vegan foods I made were so gross. This vegan gluten free pumpkin bread was literally like eating play-doh and these cauliflower pizzas were tragic. But hey, no acne! Obviously around this time I was eating a lot of vegetable oils and refined soy products (cream cheese etc) as I was excited to find all these vegan products and I had started my original Empower Wellness blog on Wordpress to document all of this. I was excited to have cleared my skin through a vegan diet and wanted to share it with the world.}
{Throwback :P I was able to celebrate my 16th birthday with clear, acne free skin}
So my vegan acne story was almost a good one. I wish I could end the story here. I learned so much more about veganism and I had such an ethical tie to my vegan diet that throughout year 11 when I was 17, I never cheated or had any cravings for non-vegan food and I was trying my best to eat healthily, I had gotten a gym membership so I was being super active and everything was pretty great. I felt awesome and for once I felt really comfortable in my own skin.
I still wore makeup around this time due to some scarring that gave my skin a red tinge most days, but this was my skin without makeup, I mean, compared to 2012 I was elated and having the time of my life. I had braces from 2013 to 2014 which I thought would make me insecure but I felt so healthy and so vibrant it didn't bother me in the slightest. Somehow having acne-free skin on a cruelty free vegan diet just made me so dang happy :D
{WHEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL: Around June 2014 whether it be the stress of being in year 11, stress around friends, or eating too many french fries, my acne slowly began to take hold again. I was doing everything else right: I was exercising daily, eating a vegan diet with a few indulgences (vegan ice cream, oreos and chips) and getting heaps of sleep. But it started with the few spots around my cheeks and nose and just like if you scroll back to the beginning, my acne story started all over again... and I could fix it with a vegan diet again right? Well, no. I was already vegan.
So what was I to do? I knew that if I didn't do SOMETHING my skin would go back to it's pre-vegan state... I know what I'll do! I'll go....
...low carb.
{March 2015}
Yes. You can comment this photo is disgusting if you want. I'd more than easily agree with you. But more than disgust I just feel sad for myself. This was such a horrible, horribly depressing time. I stopped hanging out with friends as often, I stopped going to as many parties, I didn't wanna look at people in public, I didn't even want to go to work or the gym because I was so scared of what people would think of me, after being so happy with my physical appearance for nearly two years when my skin cleared up.
I also stopped writing for my Wordpress blog because I didn't feel like a healthy role model and I had begun to doubt the vegan lifestyle. Maybe I'm not healthy, I thought. A healthy person surely wouldn't look like this. I no longer wanted to post recipes or healthy living tips, because I didn't want to give false infortmation to people that might give them acne. I was so confused and so heartbroken.
So I started eating a lowcarb, no grains, no sugar diet that was pretty much just tofu and salads: protein and vegetables only. Little fruit (due to the sugar!) and no potatoes due to the high starch. If you're wondering, I had read Sarah Wilson's I Quit Sugar Book and out of desperation and a testimonial on her webiste that it can clear your skin... I followed it loosely.
This diet gave me really poor digestion. TMI: I went to the bathroom maybe every 3 days, I felt muggy, I nearly vomited after eating anything, I felt heavy when I exercised and I could feel the toxins coming through my skin in the form of the worst acne since 2012.
Again, my desperation led me to research. I searched on Youtube for 'vegan acne' and had followed Loni Jane on Instagram who cleared her pimples with an 80-10-10 diet, which is a high carb low fat diet based around heaps of fresh fruit.
{Loni Jane}
The only problem with following Loni Jane is that she still included a lot of added fats such as avocado to make a lot of the 80-10-10 100% raw food meals, which at the time I was unaware of the relation between eating added fats and acne breakouts. So I was probably eating about half of an avocado a day and still eating nuts and seeds and even oils ocassionally because they were 'raw', and raw was supposedly the key to clearing my skin. I have no hate towards Loni Jane, of course, I think her photography is beautiful and it was her instagram that inspired me to eat well and appreciate how much vitality food can give us but mimicing her diet definitely didn't help my skin.
Around June 2014 I had also dabbled in eating 100% raw and though I'll make a post seperately on my raw experience (damn, I have so much to say!) I'll just quickly note that I couldn't do it and the obsession with eating only raw made me really sick. Therefore, it didn't clear my skin.
I loved how I felt eating an abundance of fruit, however, and the knowledge I gained from trying to incorporate more fresh, whole fruit in my diet still stands with me today (I eat Rawtill4 typically) and I have never felt better having experienced a dozen different ways of eating.
Another thing that really stuffed up my skin was oil cleansing.
I had read an article on Wellness Mama Blog about the benefits of oil cleansing and how it can be the one thing that gives you amazing skin due to the benefits of topically applying coconut oil so I was doing that for a few months, and torturing the crap out of my already acne-covered skin. Coconut oil is extremely comodegenic. Meaning, it has an extremely high tendency to clog pores. So what did I do? Lathered the stuff all over my face every morning and night for months, and though my skin got a hell of a lot worse (see, March photo above) I thought it was going to get better.
THEN, somehow, I don't even remember how, I discovered this video:
It saved my life.
Kinda :P
I highly recommend you watch this video and read this article by Dr McDougall, it just made so much sense and I couldn't believe that prior to discovering this, I was comitting every skin sin possible:
http://nealhendrickson.com/mcdougall/031100puacne.htm
Though I haven't followed the McDougall plan exactly, I took his advice in the article to avoid all added fats, even 'healthy' fats, and stop applying oil to the skin in the form of cosmetics and cleansers. It has taken just over six months to get where I am now (and yes, I still have some breakouts) but throughout I've had the accidental oil that has made me break out again. I got rid of my old makeups that contained oil and swapped them for oil free mineral powders, I swapped oil cleansing for an oil free scrub from the chemist and my diet has made me feel incredible as well as heal the awful cystic acne I had.
The Mcdougall Diet is a starch based diet centred around cooked starches such as rice, beans, potatoes, wheat, corn, lentils etc. For me, I feel best on a Rawtill4 style of eating (I feel my fittest and my lightest) where I have an abundance of fruit all day with a Mcdougall style starchy dinner. I have a fair bit of leeway with my diet like having pasta for lunch or sushi or whatever but always oil and fat free. I can't believe the results when I look back on how it used to be.
{March 2015, 2 months before discovering the McDougall diet)}
{ I started posting a lot to instagram with my new knowledge, but wore a shit tonne of makeup for photos of myself. My self-hate and insecurities were at their peak. I was so ashamed.}
{3 weeks in. Less cysts, smaller bumps, fewer breakouts. My skin would still break out like crazy if I accidentally had any oil}
{September. Not quite sticking to the oil free thing had its setbacks. The acne would come back. So much better than it was though}
{Lots of scarring (obviously) but not much acne. Something else shifted in me too. This was taken around October when I made the decision to stop wearing makeup and posted this picture to my facebook explaining just how my inner war with myself and how I looked was suffocating me and preventing me from reaching my full potential with my life. A few weeks before this was taken I considered Accutane, or Roaccutane-- a really powerful acne medication that can cause severe side effects with a 100% birth defect rate. Scary stuff. But instead of deciding to use a chemical to change me, I chose to do the opposite and stop wearing makeup to school, gym, shopping (only for work) and love myself unconditionally the way I know everyone else has whether I had acne or not.
{December 16th. Mostly clear. Yes, I clearly wanted to show a huge pimple on my forehead. Goes to show I do still get a breakout or two, but what I want you to understand is the breakouts I get now will never be as bad as what it used to be before I was vegan and also when I was loading up on the fats. }
{Now: start of January (this post is a little late). Yes, I still get a few breakouts, and my skin is NOT PERFECT, it's on it's way. And sometimes when I wakey up and look in the mirror I still tell myself I'm not happy and wish for clear skin, and sometimes I even think the diet 'isn't working'. But then I look at where I was, and how much happier I am now regardless of skin or hair or anything like that!!}
I eat an abundance of high-carb plant foods, no overt fats, I use an oil free face cleanser, I don't moisturise and I use an oil free makeup 1-2 days a week when I'm working. I avoid exercising with makeup on so I can sweat freely and I drink heaps of water to keep my system in balance. It sounds tedious but it's the best thing I've ever done. And I regained a trust in myself, in everyone else and have a really different understanding of worth and taking care of yourself out of love, not out of fear of a side effect.
YOU CAN HELP CONTROL YOUR ACNE. You don't need some quick fix that's going to poison your body in some way just to mask the symptom of something inside you that's wrong. For months I was disappointed again and again, believing that a plant based diet couldn't be healthy if I looked like I was sick and when I switched to low-fat and it didn't give me immediate results I believed it wasn't worth it either. It's so important to be patient and gentle. I'm still in this process of healing. Still! But it's progress for sure. And that beats being stuck where I was, for sure.
Thankyou so much for reading, and please share this with someone who has tried everything else to control their cystic acne. It IS possible to heal your acne, and yes it does suck... no one should have to go through the physical and emotional trauma of having a hundred cysts all over your face but this is the way to help get rid of them. In hindsight, I would tell myself not to cheat. It was really difficult cutting out all added fats in my diet because avocados and cashew cheese etc were some of my favourite foods, and most cool vegan food products are loaded with oils like vegan cheeses, sweets etc. But really, don't cheat, it slows down the process by like, 100000%. Research awesome oil free recipes! I'm going to be posting a shit tonne on here for your pleasure xx
This was so nerve-wracking for me to post all these horrible pictures onto the internet for the world but I hope it can help you or someone you know, and be sure to check out Nina and Randa's video as well as the article by Dr John McDougall. Any questions or comments please leave down below or email me at glowinggreenpeace@gmail.com
Lily x
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